An Exercise in Pattern Recognition

I think identifying behavior patterns -- whether constructive or destructive -- is an important way to get a handle on self-awareness. I had one of those "holy-crap-*blink*-*blink*" moments today when I got a special delivery from my favorite depressive addiction: Half.com.

So what was in the package you ask? Some smarmy, self-helpish book that I ordered in a moment of total down-and-weak-nes, when I was just ***SURE*** that this time this book would have the answers. But here's what happens, every time:

Step 1.) I'm feeling blue.
Step 2.) Ok ... now I'm REALLY feeling blue.
Step 3.) Shopping always makes me feel better -- but perhaps I should use this shopping binge to buy something useful. More books? So what if they're heavy to move and I'm already out of shelves! I'll buy something literary.
Step 4.) Maybe I'll play around by typing in "I'm blue" -- you know, just to ef with the SEO.
Step 5.) What's the one thing better than literature? Answers and false hope!
Step 6.) Speedy Checkout my way to answers and false hope.
Step 7.) Keep feeling blue for the rest of the day.
Step 8.) Feel less blue the next day, because it's sunnier out.
Step 9.) Feel even less blue the next day because of something good that actually happens.
Step 10.) Forget about book order.
Step 11.) Receive book in the mail. Think: "WTF? Who the hell order this smarmy, self-helpish book? Yuck-o. Straight to the recycling bin with you!"

It's all about pattern recognition, folks. That's what I'm talking about.